The following is a suggested list of things you should do before meeting someone face to face for the first time. Although this has been written with the slave in mind, it does apply to Masters/Mistresses as well.

Every year hundreds if not thousands of people meet each other on-line, and later meet face to face. While the majority of these meetings may safely work out, some don't. Before you even consider meeting anyone, get to know them on-line and if you are comfortable with them, via phone calls. You can offer to call them, and use the 'caller ID blocks' available. (Consult your phone service provider or phone book for instructions on how to engage this service.)

These are suggestions that at first may seem on the edge of paranoia, but when your safety (and quite possibly your life) is at stake, it doesn't hurt to take precautions. There are a couple of instances where two different schools of thought are taken into consideration, and we have attempted to explain both.

1. Anonymity vs. Personal Information: There are two different methods (A & B, below) recommended by people regarding personal contact information. With the first method, it is recommended that you never give out your real name, phone number, address information, etc.; yet it is also recommended that you seek to attain that same information from the person you are interested in meeting. The second method compensates for the first method's shortcomings in being equal in the protection of both people without a double standard.

Never give out your personal information - i.e. real name, address, phone number, etc.. This can too easily be used by the other person if they have bad intent. And before even making arrangements to meet someone, be sure that you know them. Find out their name, address, where they work, and their phone number (both home and work), and ask for references from other people that know about them either on or off-line. If the person isn't willing to give this information, can you really trust them? Discuss and agree on a 'plan' or schedule for your date.

Before meeting anyone from an on-line service, set up "dual control" for your personal information. Find another person who knows both of you that can be trusted to hold all the information regarding your meeting. That person will have both of your real names, home phone numbers, emergency contact info, etc. Or, alternately, use two people to hold this information, with each of you having a person responsible for holding this personal information who is able to make a call should things go badly.

2. Arrange the meeting well in advance, so you have time to set up your "safety net", making certain that the location of your meeting, local police phone number, and all other pertinent information are well known by your contact people.

3. If you are traveling, make reservations at a hotel but do not tell the person you are meeting where you plan to stay. Make certain that your contact person knows exactly which hotel and which room though.

4. Always meet in a public place, where there are plenty of people around, and during daylight hours.

5. SAFETY CALLS: Let your contact(s) (preferably local to where you are to meet the person) know your complete schedule for the meeting, and the phone number of the establishment where you are to meet. Give them the full name of the person you are meeting if this has been arranged, along with any other identifying information you have obtained about them. (See #1, above) Call them within 15 minutes after meeting the person. Give them a keyword before hand that will allow you to tell your friend that you are in danger and need help. This keyword or phrase should be innocent-sounding, but understood by your friend as a call for help, and that you need them to come and get you or call the police. Phone calls should be made to your friend every hour after that. Discuss with your friend the steps they are to take if your phone call is more than 10 minutes overdue. Call your friend at the end of the date, to let them know all is well and that you are on your way home. **DON'T FORGET TO MAKE YOUR CALLS**

6. Stick to your schedule. Any potential partner will understand, and will not put pressure on you to do something that was not agreed upon. If they do, politely excuse yourself and leave. That type of person is not trustworthy, and is therefore not safe. Remember, he or she is not your Master or Mistress in real life and cannot force or order you to do a thing.

7. As tempting as it may be, do NOT engage in "scenes", D/s play, or sex on your first meeting. This is the time to get to know each other better, and if the person you are meeting is the right one for you, there will be plenty of time for that in the future.

8. If you decide to leave the meeting early for any reason, let your contact know.

9. There are many different ways get to and from your date. The emphasis for these should be to both provide an easy way to leave if there are problems, while keeping information like your license plate number away from someone that you might not want further contact with. Some of these ideas are listed below, and you should choose which will work out best for you. Regardless of how you decide to get to and from your date, be sure that your pickup/car are in an area where there are plenty of people, and that the person you have met doesn't follow you home.

Have your friend drop you off and pick you up at a pre-determined time and location.
Take a cab. Most taxi-companies will take 'appointments' for pick ups. Call around and ask.
Drive yourself and park a few miles in a business parking lot. Take a cab or walk from there, so that your car cannot be easily identified by the person you are to meet if it doesn't work out.
Drive your own car, and park close to the door, so that 'escape' is quick and easy if necessary.

10. Trust your instincts. Watch the other person for signs that they are not right for you. Watch body language, eye contact, and their reactions to situations. For instance, if the waitress makes a mistake, how does the person react? If the person makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, do not hesitate to leave early, but do so safely. (see #8)

11. Do not set up another date yet if you are interested in another meeting. Wait for this until you have had some time to yourself, so you can be sure of your feelings after the initial meeting. Also, if you or the other person involved have "flown in" for the weekend and have only just met, let that person know well in advance that the next day's affairs will be scheduled over the phone the evening before you meet again - so if you would like to arrange another meeting tomorrow, you will have to talk with that person over the phone tonight. This will give you time to get your contacts informed if you intend to meet again, or allow you to safely exit if you are either disinterested or have concerns about your personal safety. If you don't feel that the person is right for you, be polite, but tell them so AFTER the first meeting via phone or email. Do not let them think there is a possibility of another meeting if there isn't.

12. Have fun, enjoy yourself and the one you are meeting, but keep safe!!